Money Memoir: When financial “tough love”
didn’t work for her, here’s what did.

written by Bari Tessler February 6, 2018
Sonya Brewer Money Memoir

What if you could talk to real people about money? We ALL have money stories to share. Tough times and how we overcame them. Hard-won wisdom. Inspiration and soulful insights. In this intimate conversation series, I talk to real people about real money stuff. Curl up with a cuppa as we pull back the curtain. Because when we dare to speak the truth about money … amazing healing begins.


When financial “tough love” didn’t work for her, here’s what did.

Dear Community,

We need to talk.

That mainstream, “whip yourself into shape” approach to money? It’s gotta go.

You know the one, right? You create an ultra-strict budget with zero wiggle room … and when you inevitably splurge on a cappuccino, you give up entirely (while wondering what’s wrong with you, of course). (Hint: nothing is wrong with you!)

Or you read a blog about all the money stuff you “should” already be doing … and beat up on yourself for not magically already knowing how to do it.

The mainstream has lots of great information about personal money management. But it simply doesn’t work for most people.

Why? Because we’re not just To Do List-completing machines. We’re deeply feeling, complex human beings. With lineages and emotional patterns and conflicting inner parts. Not to mention dreams and goals and values that might be totally different from whoever wrote that blog post about budgets you just forced yourself to read.

That’s why I find Sonya’s story so inspiring.

In this bonus Money Memoir, I’m sharing my delightful conversation with Sonya Brewer: a body-centered psychotherapist who’s undergone a huge financial transformation.

Sonya grew up “deeply poor” and has survived divorce, bankruptcy, and grad school.

When she decided she needed to face her “money stuff,” she started where so many of you did: with that traditional, mainstream, “tough love” approach. And, like hundreds of you have shared with me: it didn’t work for her.

Today, things are bright for Sonya. She’s in a loving relationship where they actually talk about money. She and her partner bought a house together in the Bay Area. And she’s “on fire” for supporting other couples in their money work, too.

You’ll hear:

  • How she’s learning to be OK after financial crisis mode
  • How her “deeply poor” upbringing taught her to go for her dreams
  • Why “the bottom fell out” of her money life after grad school
  • How she and her partner went from fighting over buying a pack of gum to intimate money dates
  • How buying a house with her partner brought up both of their money “stuff”
  • How she deals with survival/panic mode around money
  • Why she’s so on fire for helping couples talk about money.

Also available on iTunes

I’m so honored Sonya shared her stories with us, and I know she’ll inspire you to talk more honestly with your honey about money … to claim the gifts of your upbringing, let go of financial panic, and above all, to treat yourself with gentleness and compassion. In your money relationship and beyond.

About Sonya

Sonya Brewer, MA, is a body-centered psychotherapist and relationship expert in Albany, CA, where she specializes in helping women, couples, and partners of all sorts create extraordinary relationships. She loves helping people feel more alive, connected and authentic in their lives and relationships, while also bringing their gifts to the world. Sonya brings a wide breadth of experience including in-depth training in somatic psychology at the California Institute for Integral Studies, training in relational psychotherapy at the Women’s Therapy Center, and extensive training in trauma recovery through Generative Somatics and additional training through Somatic Experiencing and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy (not certified). Sonya’s work is also deeply influenced by training and experience in bodywork, dance, and mindfulness meditation as well as over fifteen years of study and explorations in the realm of sacred sexuality. She has taught workshops on embodied living and sacred sexuality, and appears in the film “Hearts Cracked Open: Tantra for Women Who Love Women” by Betsy Kalin. To learn more, visit Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist #89901.


Pssssst … the rumors are true. You can still join The Art of Money 2018!

Were you bummed about missing your chance to join my year-long money school? Don’t fret!

We’ve quietly kept the doors open, because we take an intentional “soft close” approach to ending our registration period … but they’re closing for realzies soon.

(And then you really won’t be able to join again until 2019.)

Click here to join The Art of Money 2018.

Our incredible, global community has already started to come together, but we haven’t had our first LIVE Q&A call with me, yet. So there’s still space for YOU!

What could you create, if you devoted a full year to your money relationship … with expert guidance from me?

Click here to find out.

With my dearest wishes,




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