Your money healing ritual . . . is it time?

written by Bari Tessler May 2, 2013

I love ritual. I especially love those rituals we self-create for our own healing. And I extra-specially love those rituals we self-create for our money healing!

For some of you, rituals may seem a bit silly, or you wonder how significant or productive they could really be. Perhaps the concept is overwhelming, and you wouldn’t know where to start, even though the idea piques your curiosity.

If you hear a little whisper that there’s something worthwhile there for you, I encourage you to listen, experiment, and read on. And, if your someone that just swoons at the thought or smell of ritual, you’re in the perfect place.

Allow me to cheerlead you into your own money healing ritual . . .

The beauty is, ritual can be incredibly simple, accessible, meaningful and seriously productive. In this context, a ritual is very simply a ceremony that marks change.

Transition. Death and birth, metaphorical or literal. Initiation.
These are powerful invitations into healing ritual.

When you create and craft your own ritual, the sky is the limit. It can look like absolutely anything, or nothing.

Ritual is a tool that can help you change the energy, intention and relationship to something that needs to shift. It’s another one of my ways to love yourself into change, instead of shaming or yelling yourself into change . . .

I believe these rituals lie inside us, waiting to be lived.

I first stumbled upon ritual early in my 20’s when I was grieving the loss of a boyfriend, a deep love of mine who took his life at a very young age. As I sought healing during this time, I found myself staying awake late in the evening, dancing, in candlelight, blasting music. I created an altar of mementos. Without knowing exactly what I was doing, I felt from the deepest place that I needed to ritualize myself into wholeness and dance myself back into life again.

Years later, I explored ritual more deeply at Naropa University. My Masters Thesis in Somatic Psychology focused on supporting young women transitioning into womanhood through authentic movement and self-created ritual.

In the context of my money work, I consider ritual a crucial ingredient in the Money Healing phase, when we delve deep into the emotional, historical, and psychological territory of our money relationship. We move through our money shame, giving it a seat next to us (perhaps a back seat). We add massive doses of listening, forgiveness, love and compassion. The goal is understanding and healing our money story, so that we are able to love ourselves into change and move into some of the more practical aspects of our money work.

I encourage all of my students to consider Healing Ritual to ease, expedite and deepen this process – it is truly one of the most potent tools in our money healing journey!

Last month, it was my honor to host the amazing Julie Daley as a guest teacher in The Art of Money, to collaborate with me on this topic. Julie is a Coach, Dancer, Writer, and Teacher on the Creative Process. She is wonderful.

In late 2012, when I invited her to do this piece with me she said, “Oh boy, well, I need to do my own Money Healing Ritual. How about I do my own and then we can talk about that?!”

Then she jumped in to do some deep money healing work for a few months and we re-convened on our call together. How amazing is it when we truly teach what we are learning, with such authenticity and rawness?!

The call was one of my favorite collaborations to date. It felt almost magical, a ritual in and of itself.

I can’t resist sharing one of my favorite nuggets with you to spread the ritual love a little farther . . .

When Julie shared her story of crafting and shaping her money healing ritual experience, she described a process of exploring 5 simple questions.

I’m calling them the “Five W’s of Ritual.” : )


Who? When? Where? Why? What?

I love how concise, simple, and accessible this framework is. It’s very aligned with my personal experience, and I shared a similar process for my celebration ritual two years ago.

Who are you calling in for support? Who do you want + need to witness you?

  • “It was clear that I was to do this alone, and call in my ancestors’ presence.”
  • “I needed to be seen and held by my community, and so I invited a constellation of the 10 people I knew were meant to join me in this.”
  • “Just me and my honey.”

When will this ritual occur? Do you need to schedule it, and if so, what’s the date?

  • “Right now.”
  • “Next Tuesday at 10am.”
  • “On the anniversary of my father’s death.”

Where does your ritual want to happen?

  • “In nature . . . near water.”
  • “In my backyard around a fire, beneath the old oak tree.”
  • “In my living room.”
  • “In my mentor’s home.”

Why does this ritual need and want to happen? What is the main purpose?

  • “It’s time to forgive her.” [or him, or myself, or god . . .]
  • “I need to name and honor the completion of this chapter in my life, shedding old layers so that I can step fully into what’s next.”
  • “I am ready to unhook from money shame and marry money joy.”
  • “This deserves a special celebration.”
  • “I will place a boundary once and for all – it’s time to draw a line in the sand.”

What will your ritual look like? What will you actually do; what will happen? This is often best as a general/loose framework . . . leaving room and staying open to creativity and possibilities in the moment.

  • “All I know is it needs to start with lots of candles being lit and end with silent meditation.”
  • “I need to walk around a labyrinth.”
  • “I need to burn things.”
  • “I will dance to this song.”

Consider these questions a gentle roadmap for you in this terrain. Some answers will come easily and obviously. Some will come subtly, slowly, or in the moment. I invite you to listen quietly. Envision your ritual in the bath, on your hikes, during meditation. Ask for guidance in a dream. Open and let your ritual meet you.

And, then give yourself the gift of a few hours of space to step in . . .

and allow the money healing ritual to unfold.

Bari Tessler signature





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