Dear Money Adventurer,
I love ritual, especially the personal rituals that we self-create for our own healing.
I first stumbled upon the concept of self-created rituals early in my 20s when I was grieving the death of a boyfriend.
I spent the next year earnestly seeking healing, I couldn’t sleep, stayed up late into the night, blasting music, and dancing by candlelight. I felt a profound knowing, an awareness from the deepest place, that I needed to ritualize myself towards wholeness and dance myself back into life again.
Without knowing exactly what I was doing, I created an altar of mementos and the space to express myself and heal.
A few years later, I dove deeper into the realms of ritual and I fell in love with self-created rituals. I led bereavement groups while studying Dance-Movement Therapy and Somatic Psychology at Naropa University (1994-1998). I wrote my Master’s Thesis on supporting young women (in their 20’s) by giving them the tools of authentic movement and self-created ritual.
I loved discovering that ritual can be a personal practice, a tool that can help you change the energy, intention, and relationship to something that needs shifting. And, for many of us, our relationship to money could use some shifting, adjusting and fine-tuning.
So, when I started my financial therapy work, I absolutely loved discovering that rituals can be incorporated into our money healing and money practices!
Rituals can empower you to rewrite old money stories, support you as you move into new financial identities and help you celebrate the shifts along the way.
For some of you, this idea of ritual may seem silly. You might question how productive or meaningful it could really be. Or perhaps the concept is overwhelming, you wouldn’t know where to start, but still, you’re curious.
If you are someone that SWOONS at the very thought, sight, or smell of ritual, you’re in the perfect place.
And, if you hear a whisper that there’s something for you here, I encourage you to listen, experiment, and read on.
Ritual is a fundamental part of being human. Throughout history, we have raised our voices in song, in prayer, and celebration. We have gathered together to dance and mourn, to rejoice in love and life, in new beginnings, and journeys come to an end. Our rituals connect us to our families, culture, values, beliefs, and ourselves.
The beautiful thing is, ritual can be incredibly simple, accessible, personal, meaningful, and seriously productive. In this context, a ritual is simply a ceremony used to mark change.
Transition. Death and birth, metaphorical or literal. Initiation.
Through my personal journey and years of professional work, ritual has proven to be a gateway to healing, growth, and celebration.
A money ritual can be as simple as lighting candles, playing music, and having a weekly money date with yourself or your honey.
A money ritual might look like throwing a party to celebrate with all your friends when you pay off your car or student loan.
A money ritual might take a more creative form, like writing your money memories in a journal or drawing or dancing to embody and express your money emotions.
Money Healing rituals are one of my favorite ways to love yourself into transformation with grace and compassion, instead of trying to shame, bully, or yelling yourself into change.
I encourage all of my students to consider creating a Healing Money Ritual to ease, expedite, and deepen this process – it is truly one of the most potent tools in our money healing journey!
Here are some ideas:
Money Healing Ritual #1: Forgiveness Ritual
Ritual calls us to come with an attitude of gentle, compassionate curiosity — this doesn’t need to be overly serious — unless that feels right to you. Consider the main chapters, big events, important people, and emotionally significant experiences of your financial life, as we just explored them. Use the following questions to start creating your list of people and events you want to forgive and let go.
Who or what are you angry with or resentful toward? How long have you felt this way toward them?
What resentments or grievances are you holding against yourself? How long have you felt this way?
What, or who, do you feel ready to forgive?
If you’re not ready to forgive someone (or yourself), why not?
Have compassion for your past decisions and behaviors. After all: What’s the point in trying to update your financial life if you are very aggressive and critical of yourself the whole time?
There are always two sides to forgiveness – the letting go and the moving forward. We let go of old beliefs about money and choose what new beliefs we want to carry forward into the future.
It might take some time for you to find your rhythm with these questions. As you progress through them, you may find yourself building momentum. You may also find yourself realizing or remembering additional pieces to forgive over the coming days or weeks ahead. Remember, this is a process. Go at your own pace. Be patient. Be gentle with yourself.
Money Healing Ritual #2: Completion Ritual
When we release our old, stagnant beliefs about money, we have room in our hearts to create happier, healthier beliefs of our choosing.
Start where you are. Take this opportunity to identify any beliefs around money that you’re ready to release now.
What old money beliefs are you ready to let go of?
What old financial identity are you ready to let go of?
What old so-called money mistakes are you ready to let go of?
Give yourself some time and space here to make a list of what you are ready to surrender, then thank each one for the ways it served you or kept you safe in the past, say hello to younger parts of you that did the best they could, and let it go. If it feels good to you, identify a new, more supportive belief to take its place.
What is a re-frame for an old money belief?
Is there a new financial identity that you are ready to step into?
Is there a new financial identity that you have already stepped into but haven’t acknowledged it yet?
What baby step could you take next to honor yourself, your feelings, and the intentions you’ve set here?
As you make progress honoring the past and releasing the old pattern, you may find that more and more ideas come bounding into your awareness. It might happen as soon as you start listing things or it may take more time to process. There is no rush, no need to hurry, you can revisit this list any time you feel moved to.
Money Healing Ritual #3 Celebration Ritual
This money journey is ongoing — so we must celebrate every success and every lesson learned along the way.
This is how we sit in gratitude for what is now.
Too often, in journeys of personal growth, we jump from one accomplishment to climbing that next mountain without taking a breath in between. We need to make time to celebrate our successes, so we can integrate them and appreciate the goodness in our lives.
Celebration is invigorating, it reinspires and propels us forward.
But first we need to pause and celebrate and appreciate what is now.
Here are some journaling questions:
What are some new money beliefs and habits?
How are you “good” with money? (Make a list!)
What shifts have occurred, big or small?
What clarity, healing, peace, or intimacy have you experienced?
Where have you gotten brave, in savvy money moves or in money conversations?
The biggest shifts are often quiet. Subtle. Inner. Like deeper self-trust and compassion. Finally forgiving our parents and letting go of old hurts and resentments. Claiming our value. Having brave, new money conversations with our parents, kids, partners. Feeling more at home and at peace with our bodies and our lives.
Please celebrate and appreciate all of it.
These are all simple but powerful invitations into healing rituals.
Remember: when you create and craft your own ritual, it can look, smell, taste, sound, and feel however you want it to. It is yours to claim, to define, to bring to life.
No matter where you are in your money journey right now, I hope that you have found something here that inspires you to craft your own Money Healing Ritual.
So, listen in for a moment, see what touches your heart and calls your name, and take one next step towards it…
With dear wishes,
P.S. Ready to go deeper with your relationship to money? Get the practical tools, holistic framework and accountability you need to guide you with the Art of Money year-long program. We’re on a rolling enrollment, so when you sign up, you get instant access to the first of 12 monthly modules plus the live community support. Our community is loving the weekly co-working group and the monthly group office hours. And, YES, you can bring a friend, too (and get a discount). Ready to begin, head on over to start the Art of Money today!
