Practicing Self-Care in Your Money Relationship

written by Bari Tessler January 9, 2022
Practicing Self-Care in Your Money Relationship

Dear Money Adventurer,

We’ve got another steaming hot Money Mocha for you today as part of our free series of extra loving money support for your personal financial journey.

These mochas are meant to not only help you right on the spot, but also give you a taste of what it’s like to do this kind of money work in the longer, more in-depth, step-by-step process of our year-long money school, The Art of Money, which is open for registration for a little while longer.

Okay, let’s jump into today’s Money Mocha…

We interact with money every single day of our lives, often without a second thought as we fill up with gas on the way to work, or perhaps with a twinge of anxiety or fear as we carefully calculate the cost of groceries against our bank account balance.

But when we intentionally choose to bring loving mindfulness, compassion, and gentle curiosity to our relationship with money, not only do we foster healing, growth, and deeper self-knowing, we’re engaging in a radical act of self-care.

Money as a Self-Care Practice

Money Practice, n.

Old definition: An incredibly stressful, anxiety-inducing, or terrifically tedious something that I should do, even though I hate everything about it.

New definition: Everything I do, on an ongoing basis, to help bring more clarity, peace of mind, and success to my money relationship.

In a world that refuses to even talk about money, it takes practice to learn to bring presence and awareness to how we engage with money, to cultivate more grace for ourselves and what we don’t know, to write a new chapter of understanding and financial-savvy in our money stories.

Here we are building relationships, just like carving out time to connect with friends, or making a point of continuing to pursue and date your long-term love. We invest presence, intentional awareness, and dedicated time to nurture growth and connection.

Here, we learn to bring grace, compassion, and self-care to our relationship with money by practicing Money Dates.

A Money Date is simply creating time and space for you to connect with your money and your money relationship – and it’s the core of your Money Practice.

This sort of “date” might not seem as exciting as other dates – at first. But it is more fun than “Reviewing My Budget,” or “Paying the Damn Bills,” or “Keeping My Head in The Sand.”

Money dates can be gentle, sacred, playful, minimalist, or expansive; solo or with your honey, business partner, or friend; quick or luxuriously long. Any time you set aside to look at your money relationship and your money itself could be called a “Money Date.”

When we commit to practicing Money Dates as an act of radical self-care, we are investing not only in our money relationship, but also in our self-knowing, deepening our understanding, and illuminating our journey of growth.
Like any great self-care practice, your Money Dates can be a training ground where you deepen your emotional honesty, mindfulness, and compassion — for yourself and others.

Every self-care practice I know of contains some version of the following three, key ingredients:

1. To begin with, we commit to practice, to showing up over and over again with intention, to learn and grow step by step. In practice, we dedicate ourselves, our time, and our energy.

2. Every self-care practice is personally supportive and nurturing in some way. The benefits may be physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, or a beautiful combination of some or all of these elements.

3. Finally, the best self-care practices connect us ever more deeply to ourselves, to each other, to our most cherished hopes, values, and beliefs. This work is personal, shaped with intention and intimate meaning.

A successful Money Practice is a pursuit of growth, a loving challenge you engage with consistently and persistently. It nurtures your finances, and much more than that, it connects you ever more deeply to yourself and the world around you.

Here we allow ourselves to redefine how we engage with money in our lives, dedicating time, presence, and intention to grow deeper in our money journey.

Here we decide what qualities we want to infuse into our lives and our money practices.

Here, we choose grace, gentle curiosity, and loving, persistent growth, baby step by baby step.

So, take a deep breath, shimmy your shoulders, and unclench your jaw. Inhale the fragrant aroma of your morning cuppa and take a slow, appreciative sip. Then, pick up your journal or notebook and your favorite pen, and take some time to reflect on each of the questions below.

How do you currently engage with your money? Do you have a regular money date to review your spending, savings, or account balances?

How do you currently practice self-care in your life? Do you prioritize self-care? How would you like to care for yourself more around your money relationship?

What might shift or change in your money life if you reframe practical financial activities as money dates – as self-care – and treat them as such? What would that feel like? What might it look like?

How can you bring more presence and meaning to your money dates? Would you add musicor light candles? Set an intention? Or take time to check in with your body and see what sensations and emotions are coming up for you?

What one small thing can you begin today, or this week, to bring more love and attention to your relationship with money?

Maybe you’ve been putting off choosing a new bookkeeping system, or you’re realizing that you need to find an accountant who can help you work through your numbers. Perhaps it looks like logging into your account, reviewing your credit card debt, and making a plan to start paying it off. Empower yourself to take the next step. Commit to one thing that feels doable and meaningful to you right now, wherever you are in your money journey.

Yes, it will take time and practice to write a new chapter in your money story, but every step along the way is an opportunity to craft a healthier, more personal, more meaningful, more fun, more joyful, more peaceful relationship with money in your life.

This journey of money as a self-care practice is an opportunity to play, to experiment, to consciously and intentionally cultivate how you want to feel in your relationship with money – and what that looks like for you.

If something inside you is longing to go deeper here, if you’re feeling called to bring more self-care to your money relationship, to pursue a fresh start with money in your life, I would love to support you in your journey.

Weaving together a holistic framework of Money Healing, Money Practices, and Money Maps, The Art of Money is my year-long money school, financial therapy program, and global community.

Blending body-based practices, with hands-on financial tools, and community support to empower you with money-savvy wisdom, creative inspiration, personal guidance, accountability, and loving encouragement, The Art of Money offers a gentle path to transform your relationship with money through compassion, awareness, and abundant self-care.

Redefine your relationship with money on your own terms. Join The Art of Money and give yourself permission to begin again.

Let this be a loving reminder that you can choose to have a more authentic, more loving, more whatever-you want-and-need-it-to-be relationship with money.

Here’s to practicing radical self-care.

P.S. The Art of Money 2022 is open for registration!

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