You Are Not Behind.

written by Bari Tessler January 28, 2021
You Are Not Behind

Dear Money Adventurer,

I have a truly important message for you.

I share this teaching in my Art of Money program and I want to share it with you today.

It’s so important, I keep repeating it – in email after email,
and program after program,
year after year.

Like the most loving, encouraging, broken record on Earth.
Over and over again, I hear so many of you asking for this message.
So here it is – revisit it often.


You are NOT behind.

Please, please, please – let’s just remove this phrase from our vocabulary entirely. It simply does not serve us. Similar to money shame, this belief that “I am behind” strikes every demographic:

women, men, non-binary folks, old, young, “successful,” and “struggling” alike.

We all hold some version of this belief, and it is time to let it go! So, with all of the love and compassion in my heart, here is what I have to say to each and every one of you…

You already take baby steps each and every day.

You ARE showing up.

Each time you pull out your wallet, go online to review your numbers, chat with your honey, or negotiate who’s picking up the check. When you muse on your first job, have a new money conversation with a friend or family member, pay your taxes, or notice your resistance to paying your taxes, or or or —

Every little step you take that is related to money, however distantly, is beautiful, and needed, and oh, so brave. Acknowledge yourself for the “small” things, because they deserve love, too!

And chances are — they’re not as small as you think. Sometimes, we do deep work unawares — and it takes a while to feel the fruits of our labor.

It’s time to choose a new track.

Like a deeply grooved record, this old, outdated belief-pattern is stuck in an addictive, shameful loop.

“I’m behind. I’m not doing it right. Others are ahead of me.”

And on, and on, and on it goes.

It is time for us to let this go. It is time to dispose of this concept completely. Full stop.

Please, let’s bless it, thank it, and say goodbye. Let’s make room for one of these, instead:

We’re moving on. It is time to find a new track for groovin’.

One that doesn’t make you feel “wrong” or “not enough”.

One that honors you for exactly what you’re doing, right where you are.

Let’s make room for one of these, instead:

“I am exactly where I need to be for my journey.”
“I am right on time, right on track.”
“My own pace is right for me.”

Let the shame go.

One of my personal “superpowers” is The Art of Un-Shaming, and I want to share it with you as clearly and profoundly as I can.

Here’s what I want for you:

Cultivate more trust in yourself.

Deepen your capacity to listen to what’s right for you – and what is not.
Be gentle with yourself.

This is a huge deal, folks. It’s about honoring your own pace – it’s also about your very relationship with yourself.

Let’s stop shaming ourselves.
Let’s give our inner critic a softer touch and a whole new role.
Let’s stop being mean to ourselves.
Let’s stop telling ourselves that we should be somewhere else.
Let’s stop pretending that we’re not right on time, right where we are, just as we are.

You are evolving and unfolding, growing and choosing, desiring and loving, baby step by brave leap!

So, how can you welcome, or even just accept, these teachings in a way works for you?

Honor yourself.
Honor your choices and your desires.
Honor your own right pacing and timing.

Be gentle with yourself here.

Be compassionate with yourself.

Radically. Gently. In ways that are just right for you, right here, right now.

With my dearest wishes,

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