Money Memoir: How a therapist rejected money for years
and then finally chose to get his shit together.

written by Bari Tessler January 27, 2018
Jayson Gaddis Money memoir

What if you could talk to real people about money? We ALL have money stories to share. Tough times and how we overcame them. Hard-won wisdom. Inspiration and soulful insights. In this intimate conversation series, I talk to real people about real money stuff. Curl up with a cuppa as we pull back the curtain. Because when we dare to speak the truth about money … amazing healing begins.

Dear Community,

Here’s the magical thing about hearing someone speak the straight, from-their-heart truth.

Whether you lived eerily similar stories or have had a life that couldn’t be more different (like: it sounds like they’re from the dark side of the moon) … either way, you can feel their heart, feel their suffering and dignity, and feel closer and more compassionate towards them.

This is one of the reasons I am such a champion for creating safe spaces to talk about money.

And it’s one of the reasons I hope you’ll listen to today’s Money Memoir — the latest installment of my intimate storytelling series about money.

In this brave interview, Jayson gets honest about rebelling against money for years and then becoming a parent and realizing it was finally time to grow up and get his shit together (as he describes it!). He also honestly shares the blessings and challenges of growing up with some wealth and what how having a “money cushion” has impacted him. 

Sometimes, folks who grew up in families struggling to make ends meet hear stories like this — of the surprising challenges of folks who grew up wealthy — and scoff. “Must be nice to have that problem,” they say.

But as one of my dear friends (who also shared the surprising truth about growing up wealthy) responded: “you can’t pit pain against pain.”

The truth is, we ALL have our “money stuff,” no matter what background we come from. Money shame is an equal opportunity affliction, affecting people from working class to upper-class backgrounds, from every race, color, religion, creed, and orientation.

That’s why there are always people from all points along the socio-economic spectrum in my year-long money school, The Art of Money.

Growing up wealthy means a lot of different things for different people. There are gifts and challenges and paradoxes. There’s gratitude and shame (or rebellion).

I’m so grateful to Jayson for sharing this perspective on this. And that’s just part of this interview, which also covers a ton of ground on how couples can work with money (Jayson is, after all, a skilled relationship coach).

Listen to How a Therapist rejected money for years and then finally chose to get his shit together.

We started our Money Memoir there but covered a ton of ground, including:

  • How becoming a parent made him realize he needed to grow up around money.
  • The blessings and challenges he faced growing up in a wealthy family.
  • How he’s dealt with anger and rebellion in his money relationship.
  • The big “oh shit” moment in his business and how he pivoted.
  • The many months of private training he needed to learn QuickBooks (I needed this too!)
  • The crucial mistake people make when trying to enroll their sweetie in change.
  • How he works through the emotions on money dates with his wife. (So inspiring!)

I’m so grateful Jayson got brave and gave a voice to some of the money issues that aren’t quite so easy to talk about — all from a place of perspective and compassion.

Whether your upbringing was similar or night-and-day different from his, I  know you’ll find something here for your money journey.

Hear how Jayson made himself grow up with money here.

Also available on iTunes


Jayson Gaddis

Jayson Gaddis is a relationship student & teacher, host of the Smart Couple Podcast, and founder of The Relationship School. He is on a mission to teach people the one class they didn’t get in school– ‘How to do 

intimate relationships’. That’s why he founded The Relationship School. He was emotionally constipated for years before relationship failure forced him to turn his life over to learning about relationships. 

Now, he’s been married to his amazing wife since 2007 (after some brutal break ups) and has two beautiful kids. When he doesn’t live and breathe this stuff with his family, he pretty much gets his ass handed to him.

He is also the brand new author of The Smart Couple Quote Book: Radically Simple Ways to Avoid Pointless Fights, Have Better Sex, and Build an Indestructible Partnership. Learn more on his site, here.


What if you and your honey could talk — I mean, really talk — about money?

I mean, loving, meaningful conversations.

Not griping at each other when the credit card statement arrives. (Seriously? You spent WHAT on THAT?)

I mean intimate, refreshingly honest, bringing-you-closer-than-sex Money Dates.

Yes. It is possible. And yes, I know: you will be moving mountains when you do this.

Money creates such suffering, in relationships. But it doesn’t have to.

My husband and I have spent years learning how to communicate with each other around money. Yes, there are polarities and communication skills and relationship dynamics to navigate.

But truly? It all starts with YOU.

Do your own money work, when you’re ready. If your sweetie is ready, too? Even better!

The Art of Money | Bari Tessler

Individual, couples, and entrepreneurial money teachings woven together in one complete tapestry.

My year-long money school starts once a year — and now’s the time to register.

I LOVE helping couples open up communication around money. That’s why The Art of Money has loads of resources for couples: Guest Teacher interviews, storytelling prompts, money practices support, and even a couples discount.

Whether you’re going solo or bringing a sweetie along, The Art of Money can help you experience more ease in your relationships — around money and beyond.

Registration is now open for a short time, right here.

P.S. I lost track years ago of the number of times I got this question,

“Bari, what if I’m ready to do this money work, but my sweetie/husband/girlfriend is not? I know it’s a big issue in our relationship, but I just can’t get them on board. How do I make them see the value in it, so we can work this out?”

How do you get your partner on board with deep money work?

You don’t.

You do your own work. Give it your all. And 9 times out of 10, within a few months, your partner will start noticing the shifts in you.

He’ll look over your shoulder while you’re mindfully categorizing expenses or doing belly breaths while you journal about your personal Money Story. He’ll ask what you’re up to.

Lines of communication will open. And if he’s ready, he’ll start dipping his toes into the work. And meet you there.

When you’re excited about creating getting honest, empowered, and peaceful about money and so want to share this journey with your partner, “just do the work and wait for them” can be hard to hear.

But it’s what I’ve seen work for years. And it’s what today’s Money Memoir guest has found effective in his relationship coaching, too.

Jayson Gaddis blew me away when he said that he’s quit coaching couples in his relationship school!

That’s right: if both people aren’t ready, he coaches the person who is — just like we do in The Art of Money (pssst: now open for registration!).


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