Dear Friend,
Since announcing my sabbatical, I’ve been getting sweet, curious questions:
What are you doing with all your free time?
Do you wake up every morning and just follow the magic?
The truth is… yes, there are pockets of magic. And yes, I do have more space to follow the thread of what feels alive each day.
Some of that has looked like:
✨ Finally binging Grey’s Anatomy from the very beginning (how did I miss this all these years?).
✨ Pure Barre classes…my favorite movement right now as my knee heals from an ACL and meniscus tear.
✨ At-home spa nights with Hanacure masks. (Confession: the first time I used it, I laughed so hard at my reflection once the gel hardened I had tears streaming down my face.)
But here’s the part that might surprise you…
I’m still a mom to a newly-17-year-old who’s driving (!!) and starting senior year. I’m still a partner in a 25-year marriage. I’m still a woman running a household, tending animals, overseeing a kitchen remodel, finishing taxes (hello, extension filers), and cleaning out the corners of our townhome.
In other words: real life.
Pre-sabbatical, my husband and I shared the financial load about 50/50, though sometimes it tilted 60/40 one way or the other. Over the years, we’ve also each taken the lead on different household terrains:
He handles all the insurance.
I handle estate planning and taxes.
I cook, he washes dishes.
He does school and soccer forms, I find the therapist, PT, or college counselor.
It’s a dance. Sometimes graceful, sometimes clumsy, but always evolving.
One tool I’ve loved sharing is Fair Play by Eve Rodsky, which is a deck of cards (and a book, too) designed to help couples or families divvy up the invisible load of life and revisit who’s on what as things shift.
And as life shifts, so does the bookkeeping…
For the first seven years of our relationship, I handled our personal books in QuickBooks (I learned it back when I ran a bookkeeping business). When I got pregnant, my husband stepped in and taught himself Mint (which no longer exists).
Now, on sabbatical, I felt the nudge to take it back. I wanted a clearer snapshot of our household finances today.
So I started a free trial with Monarch … and I’m in love.
Within a week, after categorizing expenses, I had a clear picture of our income and spending from January through August. (It has fabulous visual flow charts of where your money goes). It also tracks savings, credit cards, and loans in one place, and there’s a simple budgeting feature to compare projections with reality.
Here’s the link if you’d like to try it. That link will get you 50% off the first year.
I had considered going back to QuickBooks Online or Quicken, but my colleague Mikelann Valterra (Financial Coach extraordinaire) recommended Monarch, especially for folks with ADHD tendencies (hello, me). It’s straightforward, not too complex, and gives me just the right view.
And it feels good to be back in this role; seeing the whole picture with fresh eyes.
So while it might look from the outside like I’m floating in wide-open space, the truth is: I’m full. Not in the overcommitted, too-much-on-my-plate way. But full with life: parenting, running a household, tending finances, reflecting on my legacy, and beginning to dream into what’s next.
And sometimes, yes, full on with Grey’s Anatomy marathons and spa masks that make me laugh until I cry.
With love from the sabbatical season,
Bari 💛
