You’re savoring the last bite of your luxurious chocolate soufflé …
And then — it happens. Again.
The evening had been perfection, until that point. Your favorite restaurant twinkled with candlelight and clinking glasses. Your honey sat across from you, his eyes aglow with tenderness (and appreciation for your black strapless dress). Conversation flowed easily and lovingly. All was happy and right with the world.
The moment that changed everything: when the waiter placed the check on your table.
Because that was no ordinary slip of paper. It landed like an anvil from the sky, carrying the weight of the ultimate taboo: MONEY.
You get that familiar ick in the pit of your stomach. Your voice catches in your throat. And your honey, right there across the table, suddenly feels a million miles away.
Your lovely evening out suddenly shatters under the weight of a thousand unspoken words, ongoing fights, fears about the future, and shame about the past. Worst of all, your own confusion:
Why is money so hard? Why can you bring loving awareness to every area of your life under the sun — from food to sexuality to spirituality — except money?
You and money don’t need to be enemies (or strangers). With the right guidance, you can create a conscious, loving relationship with money. And this can change everything.
That’s because money touches every area of your life: from career to romance, parenting to creativity, spirituality, health, self-worth, and more. When we create a healthy, honest, empowered relationship with it, the positive effects ripple out to our entire life.
Yet most of us were never taught how to manage money — let alone our emotions around it. So it remains a tangled territory of stress and fear, doubt and disconnection. Even the most thoughtful, mature adults get lost in these woods — and their whole lives pay the price. And that anvil can fall from the sky a dozen times a day: when you swipe your card at the checkout, when you plan your vacation, or when you dream of the future.
There is a better way. Take my hand. You don’t have to do this alone.
Private Financial Therapy
An intimate, customized journey through your unique money relationship. For individuals, couples, and creative entrepreneurs.
Private financial therapy is the fastest, most focused way to transform your money relationship. And your whole self is welcome, here.
We’ll create a safe space for your tenderest explorations. A can-do plan. A grand vision, aligned with your values. Knowing, loving support right where you need it.
Deep money work can be gentle AND practical.
My feminine, body-centered approach sparks deep insights, loving un-shaming, and shoulder shimmies — in droves. I’m crazy-in-love with practical steps and systems, but this isn’t a tough-love approach. We’ll bring gentle awareness to aspects of your money relationship that nobody talks about. And we’ll integrate three phases:
Money Healing: Unravel the emotional, familial, and psychological pain in your money relationship. Bring massive doses of honesty, forgiveness, and love.
Money Practices: De-mystify finances, and make money a regular part of your self-care routine. Work with numbers, systems, and practical steps in a way that’s meaningful and beautiful, to you. (And YES, we bring chocolate.)
Money Maps: Align money with your deepest values and cherished life goals. Zoom out and clarify where you are in this one, precious life — and make money support your big dreams.
Private financial therapy brings the very best of my Art of Money method directly to the areas of your money relationship that most need love.
Together, we can move mountains. Expect to:
- Get intimate with your own, unique money story.
- Uncover and heal unconscious money patterns holding you back.
- Dissolve the fear, anger, and tension when you talk with your honey about money.
- Learn to deepen your relationship through money dates.
- Create customized, playful, and smart money practices on daily, weekly, monthly bases.
- Learn the language of money (this is so empowering!)
- Align your spending and savings with your big life goals and deep valuesEstablish the financial support team you need, right now (bookkeepers, accountants, financial planners, etc.)
- Get mentor coaching on creative entrepreneurship and authentic business models.
This isn’t for everyone.
But you will love it if:
- You want to go deep, quickly and experience big, life-affirming shifts.
- You love intimate, personalized guidance and attention.
- You’re on a path to create a conscious, authentic life … and money is a final, essential piece.
- You have already done some work on your money relationship and now, you’re ready to take it to the next level.
- Or … you don’t have any relationship with money, whatsoever and are ready to create one.
- You’re going through a big life transition (divorce, career change, death of a parent, etc.) and money issues are hitting you in droves.
- Or … your money relationship has been calling your name for awhile and you know in your heart that now’s the time.
- You and your honey want to deepen your intimacy by working on your money issues.
- You’re a creative entrepreneur and would love support around business models, marketing, and owning your value more.
Wherever you find yourself in the money wilderness, we will carve a path, together.
Choose from two levels of private financial therapy:
Option #1: Single session
For individuals, couples, and creative entrepreneurs.
(We’ll meet over the phone or skype for a 60-minute session)
We’ll dive straight into the area of your money story asking (or screaming!) for love, healing, and support.
Before we meet, you may send me anything you want me to know about you and your situation, so we can jump right in. After our session, you’ll receive personalized email support, love, and resources.
This option is perfect for you if:
One issue or area of your money relationship is screaming for attention. You sense what it is, and you want focused, deep support through it.
You are in my Art of Money program, or you’re a former student, already immersed in my work and you want an extra boost of my undivided love and attention to support your path.
This money work feels deeply exciting to you and you’re a little lost about where to start. You want to experience it first-hand, one-on-one.
Option #2: 6-Month Money Journey
For individuals, couples, and creative entrepreneurs
(We’ll meet over the phone or skype for our sessions)
If you’re ready for the deepest transformation and most profound impact, this option is for you!
You’ll receive my continuous, ongoing support and love while we meet and all throughout our time together on this journey. I’ll hold a vision for your healing, progress, and new possibilities for the entire 6 months. (Yes: I think about you on my hikes!)
This focused, personalized attention is simply the fastest and most skillful way to create deep, sustainable change in your money relationship.
- Private sessions for six months. We’ll meet over the phone or skype for a total of 90 minutes each month. This work is fluid, and you are unique: so I’ve created a structure to align with the flow of your life and needs. Use your 90-minutes in the way that works best for you! (You choose any 30-minute increment: 1 long session, 3 short sessions, or somewhere in between.) We will discuss the best pace for you.
- An unconditionally loving space. The hallmark of my approach is the art of un-shaming. I’m all about: honoring, healing, and bringing understanding and clarity to your relationship with money. I’m gentle and loving and invite you to treat yourself that way, too! In our sessions, we work on anything and everything that comes up for you, for maximum money healing. Bring your questions about your personal, couple, and entrepreneurial finances + lifestyle. All of you is welcome in this safe, tender space.
- A tried and true framework. My work has 3 key phases: Money Healing, Money Practices, and Money Maps. We’ll start wherever best serves you, and jump around as our journey unfolds. This is a personalized, co-creative experience. It begins right where you are, and follows the thread of your desires and needs. Where it ends is entirely up to you.
- Email support between sessions. I’m here for you! Send me your updates, questions, money journal entries, requests for support, or gleeful triumphs.
- My entire library for Self-Study. In addition to our private work together, you will receive my best resources: workbooks, exercises, teachings, interviews, and more, all wrapped up in my online home-study course (this course was the precursor to the year-long Art of Money program I run these days.) These materials will provide a sturdy foundation for our work together, along with ongoing support, whenever you need it.
Deep healing. Embodied action. Grand visions + effective baby steps. With plenty of savvy tools and soothing tea, belly laughs, and happy chills, loving guidance and virtual high-fives.
Expect to …
- Tell your story. Unravel patterns that no longer serve you. Bring awareness, forgiveness, and conscious choice to your financial world.
- Discover all the places money shows up in your daily life and relationships. (Hint: it’s not just when you pull out your wallet!)
- Get specific suggestions and instructions for money practices and tools. You can use any financial tracking system you feel drawn to, or already are using. (Mint, YNAB, Quicken, Quickbooks, etc.) If you’re not sure, I’ll help you choose!
- Breathe. You’ll learn skills + practices to create an atmosphere of ease, compassion, and forgiveness with yourself.
- Create a personalized, creative money practice you’ll fall in love with – including daily, weekly, monthly, and annual check-ins.
- Get on the same team with your honey: bring open communication and compassion to your money conversations.
- Replace a booooring budget with a vibrant Money Map based on your values, lifestyle, and phase of life.
- Delve into the rich terrain of finances for the creative entrepreneur. (Holy moly, there’s a lot here!)
- Decide: do you need other members of your money support team? If so, you’ll get my tips on how to find + hire the best match.
- Have fun! Our private sessions are serious business, but they’re also infused with playful ease. This sense of relaxed well-being permeates every relationship in your life: from family to friends to your most beloved.
Is now your time?
The transformation this work offers is so profound, so wide-reaching, and so relevant, I don’t want you to wait another moment to enjoy it. Truly: it’s that good.
1. This work is not for everyone. It’s for truly motivated people who are ready to show up, trust the process, and commit to a loving, playful exploration.
2. Timing matters. While it’s true that I only offer a handful of spots at a time for this intimate work, that whole salesy, scarcity-driven, buy-now-or-you’ll-miss-out schtick makes my heart hurt and gives me the creeps. I stand for conscious, loving decisions that feel true-to-you. You’re the authority here! Ask yourself: am I ready for this? Honor the answer you receive.
3. What about this whole spending-money-on-my-relationship-with-money thing? I know: that can seem a little odd. Actually, how do we make any decision around spending? (I wrote an entire article about this, here.) Some guiding questions I recommend here:
- Am I prepared to gently, lovingly hold myself accountable for receiving the value of this investment?
- Do I feel empowered, trusting, and loving towards myself in making this investment?
- Am I prepared to invest not only my money, but my mind, my heart, my time, and my consciousness, as well?
Yes? Then everything is aligned for you to receive a powerful return on your investment. And I can’t wait to get started!
What Clients Are Saying:
Bari has guided us through a clear and intentional process that moved us from a long held place of fear, neglect and avoidance of our financial landscape, to a place of deep commitment, empowerment and alignment. Her heartFULL support, masterful guidance, solid tools and gentle accountability have helped us to cultivate a thriving financial partnership! One Love, Maketa & Rey
When I established my business 3 years ago, I didn’t actually realise I was founding a business. As a research scientist of 25 years, I thought of my move more like ‘continuing to give my talks’ about how relationships shape infant brain development.
Two years on, I was in overwhelm – drowning in figuring out how to organize the money, how to look at my bank balance without feeling sick with anxiety, how to feel like the company director I now understood I was. In our very first session, Bari helped me to identify my key problem: I thought I was supposed to already know how to do all this new ‘money stuff’!
I was riddled with embarrassment that I (the high achieving confident girl) didn’t understand how to even think about these new systems, and I had no idea where to go to begin to solve that problem. The biggest gift that Bari Tessler gave me was permission Not To Know. Once I came to understand it was acceptable that I Did Not Know, I was transformed.
Excited curiosity replaced tearful dread. My business became for me the bold adventure I had hoped for. How did Bari do that? What was the key thing she did for me? She offered me gentleness. I love that Bari Tessler lives out the science I am trying to disseminate to the wider world: Compassionate listening is the key to growth for all of us, from babies on up. ~Dr. Suzanne Zeedyk
I think what Bari does more than anything is un-shames us around money. It’s the combination of nuts and bolts financial knowledge and practices, with compassionate attention — not only on the numbers, but past baggage, emotions, and heart. It was the combination of rigor — and frankly love — that made this work land with me like nothing before. ~ Kristin Wheeler
I have loved the time I’ve spent working with Bari. She is gentle, trustworthy, and knows her stuff—a great ally to have on the path towards financial awareness and empowerment. Not only did I learn valuable methods for saving and using money, I also gained confidence and a stronger sense of self worth. Through working with Bari, I opened up to receiving the fullness of the gifts I have in my life: my income, my work situation, and all the beautiful choices in front of me. ~ Stephanie Thomas
I loved our session Bari! Just booking our time together created an opportunity for Ash and I to take our conversations about money to a deeper place. I have resisted putting any energy into understanding and creating space for money for so long, but the energy it creates and the opportunities it creates for intimacy in our marriage blows my mind! I am so grateful for the work you do and how beautifully you and Forest show the way. ~ Sas Petherik
I said in our first meeting, “I want you to give me a transmission – The Knowing – about money.” But little did I know that what I was going to receive from you was much more.
Yes, my relationship with money improved, I feel more comfortable making decisions and speaking to others about it. I’ve learned to set clear boundaries and within that I’ve learned to relax more and be more generous.
But the true transformation and transmission I received was the permission, example and inspiration to BE A WOMAN IN A MAN DRIVEN WORLD. To make this seemingly contrived money world into a creative exploration. I learned that I can have MY WAYS… creative, playful, meaningful and full of beauty while also being responsible, effective and successful.
That I did not have to “lose” myself to be successful or effective in the world. I thought I would learn bookkeeping techniques, checks and balances, or set up how to delegate these responsibilities – which are part of the program and important! – But what I came away with was ACCEPTANCE, GRATITUDE AND APPRECIATION for who I am and my own unique dialogue and relationship with money.
I learned to trust my INTUITION even when my “mind” says “I should! I should! I should!”… To trust that I am ok just where I am… that I’m not confused, broken or a mess… I AM A WOMAN! for god’s sake… passionate, unpredictable, playful and deeply connected to my experience, which is ALWAYS CHANGING! I am not perfect and that’s ok. I am good enough.
Bari, I believe that working with you was my initiation into the MODERN FEMININE – seeing through the “story” of the world, whole-fully participating and in the wake create an enlivening experience for all involved! I feel sisterhood, allegiance and community when I think of you… and so it is. ~ Maria Bailey
Bari is a wise, loving and incredibly real. Working with her has been a grounding point not only in my relationship to money but also in my life. She naturally creates a safe haven and gently holds the space for you to navigate the wilderness of money and all dances with it.
She wears many hats… a guide, a teacher, mentor, friend, role model and she moves through these hats with the perfect amount of transparency, professionalism and grace. Her worked moved me from a place of fear, shame and isolation around money to a place of having much more confidence, clarity, ease and enjoyment! I never knew that looking at my numbers could actually be exciting.
If you know the time has come for you enter “money adulthood” then Bari is your gal. Her work leads your through a process that is both deep and transformational but also fun, educational and action oriented. Working with her was one of the best decisions I made in 2012. ~ Rebecca Lewis
Beautiful Bari, thank you for our last session today in the six month financial coaching program that I did with you. It continually amazes me how well you navigate the practical, emotional, physical, mental, and other aspects of the work.
In one moment, you hang with me through the juicy visions of my shamanic mind revealing next steps and clear visions in epic symbolism, dreams, and images and then next you’re walking me through the practical and technical subtleties of refining my growing-ever-more-efficient bookkeeping system – now that’s adaptability!
I am so looking forward to diving in to greater depth and subtlety and abundance as I embark on your community course and movement, the Art of Money starting this Friday! Heck, I was adding in my head how much I estimate I saved in practical expenses + time saved + abundant income that all directly resulted from your program and I definitely saved and generated more than I spent on it. I estimated our session today probably saved me at least $500 in expenses. (p.s. that’s my enginerd mind that thinks that way being very happy with my investment. LOL!) ~ Angela Grace
I’ve upgraded my mantras and sing a new financial song. Now I can do quickbooks on a mac, I know the difference between financial planner and financial coach, and I can hire a bookkeeper when the time comes with confidence.
And I stepped up because I no longer stumble in my money shoes. Thank you Bari. My healing around that which scares (terrifies) me has blown right off the charts. And she speaks in these low soothing tones that could talk a (financial) jumper off a ledge, uh, like me.
My life will never be the same, and yours won’t be either if you are brave and love yourself enough to change that which does not serve, even if its its mad scary. Bari will help you. Trust me. ~Rowan Twosisters, Founder of Urban Curandera.
My husband and I decided to work with Bari because we were stuck in the same, old (ugly) patterns around money. We knew we needed to change, yet the “money talks,” the budgeting, the planning…was keeping us on a merry-go-round of struggle, anger and frustration.
I knew it was our “psychology” and our emotions around money that really needed to shift, while my husband was more focused on the nuts-and-bolts of our finances; and Bari was a perfect fit for both of our needs.
In her kind, soothing and ever-so-compassionate way, she gently helped us see the old patterns and begin to shift them. She reminded us that although we each “held” different stances around money in the relationship, we actually had similar values and wishes for our family. Bari also gave us the courage to “look” at our money in a more nuts-and-bolts, concrete way.
We set up a Mint account, have “money dates” weekly, and budget and plan in a way that doesn’t feel “restrictive” and depriving, but exciting and hopeful. Our conversations hold connection instead of disconnection and anger; and our money relationship is no longer a source of conflict for us. It is a HUGE relief.
In addition – and this feels almost magical – my income has increased. If you struggle with money (and who doesn’t?) and you want a loving, soothing guide to support you with wisdom, intuition and deep psychological awareness, than you will be in great hands with Bari. ~Karen and David Schachter, Founder of Dishing With Your Daughter
As I took steps along the journey to transition from my longstanding psychotherapy practice to working with financial therapy clients, I knew that Bari Tessler, a pioneer in the financial therapy field, would be an instrumental mentor in shaping my mastery of this specialization. Bari was generous in providing her expertise, support, and guidance in working with clients around money issues.
She helped me delve deeper into my own money story, which left me with greater money consciousness and an enhanced ability to guide others on their journey. I was also able to get very clear on delineating–for myself–the differences between traditional psychotherapy and financial therapy, allowing me serve my money coaching and financial therapy clients in the highest way.
Bari is gifted in creating a warm, safe, and nurturing learning environment from which she shares her expertise and talents in helping people heal their money stories. She is a special lady and experienced financial therapist who will guide you in discovering your unique path with this work. It’s my sincerest honor and pleasure to be part of the Conscious Bookkeeping lineage!” ~Lora Sasiela, Founder of Financially Smitten
After more than 20 years of teaching yoga full time and raising a son, I took a year-long sabbatical, travelled to India, and went to the desert to study Ayurveda.
I returned to my home a year later, happy, full of wisdom to share, in debt, and a year behind in my bookkeeping. After the initial elation wore off from my year away, I was a little freaked out. I reached out to Bari, with whom I had learned about money healing and bookkeeping in years prior.
It seemed crazy to invest a big chunk of money on money counseling when I was in debt from my year off, but I spoke with Bari, went with my gut, and signed up for private financial therapy. I went from freaked out to calm and on top of my situation, and by the end of our 6 months together felt so grateful for the year’s sabbatical, at peace with my school debt, and back into my bookkeeping practice.
Bari was so calm and unruffled by my anxiety, and met me so closely moment by moment. No real structure, but Bari’s deep understanding of the territory came out in little nudges here and there to help me see more. I came to understand more about what motivated me to drop bookkeeping for a year, and am all the wiser for it.
The value I received was way beyond the monetary investment. I would recommend Bari’s private work to anyone who is feeling they need some real support and guidance…she’ll support you in reclaiming that guidance that lies within yourself. ~ Shannon McCall, Yoga Teacher and Ayurvedic Practitioner
I want to thank you for the private time we had together in Financial Therapy. I found you at a very vulnerable and sensitive time in my life, a few months after the passing of my mom. I was working through a lot of “stuff”, thoughts and feelings about my mom including how she and members of her family deal/dealt with money and how that legacy has been passed on. Funny, how as a financial planner I had never been introduced to the legacy part and emotional side of how people deal with money. Such a missing piece! As we discussed, I see the anxiety, stress and fear around money. But I didn’t have the right tools to work with it personally or professionally until I met you and your work.
Your approach is so many things, so unique: gentle, warm, welcoming, safe and yet systematic and intentional. Words seem to limit the money transformation that takes place on a deeper, emotional and spiritual level.
My money awareness has increased exponentially. I find myself breathing through money conversations with my husband where before there would have been a lot of tension and perhaps bad feelings all around. And I am so blessed for the tools that I now have to help guide my clients on their road to a healthier relationship with their money.
Moving on to your Art of Money school after Financial Therapy was the perfect way to “end” a relationship that I wasn’t ready to end. ~ Debbie Sassen, Financial Planner & Money Coach